The Influences That Make Us Who We Are.
“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” — Sophia Loren. This is one of my favorite quotes because it always has reminded me to tap into myself and those around me. Life is one crazy ride and every day we grow and change, for the better or the worse, but at least there are more days ahead to do better. Being who you are is one of the most important things that life offers, and the real question that many try to figure out is really who are we and who we want to be.
It was the first day of senior year and I couldn’t wait to drive to school and park in my own personal parking spot. I’m not so sure what it was about having my own personal parking spot that no one but myself could use and vandalize, not decorate, without question. All I know is that that same feeling I had about that parking spot was the same feeling I get every time I watch, read, and even think about psychopaths or any major criminals with serious problems, killers really. I know what you’re thinking, that’s a strange comparison and almost minute, but to me it was ownership of something I wanted and could strive for. and I’m speaking about the art that i could use in that lot and it was mine, it was powerful to me, and it was something that excited me, and in that time in my life, it was one of the very few things i felt i had done alone and regardless of what people said I wanted to do it. Now, I can’t remember when my fascination and love for the brain and how powerful it truly started but since I could remember I’ve been passionate about it. I’m fascinated by just how some people grow up to kill and steal and others don’t, they couldn’t fathom the idea or stomach it. The idea of going into a profession where I am able to help people and save lives is something I don’t think anyone would pass up, and as to where my passion can directly cross that path, I am very excited in choosing this profession.
I want to add that I’ve always felt like psychology has been one of the most integrated methods in my life, even when I never realized it I was analyzing people’s behaviors, diction, and actions subconsciously. I seemed to add into a personal file of them in my head and kept tabs on their behaviors whenever our next interaction came about. It wasn’t until I started to think about what I wanted to major in in college that I had to really decide if I wanted to use psychology and major in it for the rest of my life. The decision was tough because I wasn’t sure if behavioral psychology in an academic environment was suited for me, so I chose the safe route and went into business and of course at the end of my first year, I realized I wanted to use my passion of psychology and excel in it and learn more. That is when the plan to get my PhD in psychology was born and the goal was set. I have now changed my major to pre-psych and am awaiting notice from the psych department to accept me as a psych major due to the impacted major it is.
Throughout our lives we have many different influences that have huge effects on our personality and our perception of the world. As we go throughout the years influences come and go and some are accepted with open arms and others are avoided at all costs. One of my biggest influences for the past year has been a crime show focusing on the behavioral analysis in the FBI.
The Cultural artifact I am using will be the hit TV show, “Criminal Minds”. In summary, “An elite squad of FBI profilers analyzes the country’s most-twisted criminal minds, anticipating the perpetrators’ next moves before they can strike again. Each member of the “mind hunter” team brings his or her expertise to pinpoint predators’ motivations and identify emotional triggers to stop them. The core group includes an official profiler who is highly skilled at getting into the minds of criminals, a quirky genius, the former media liaison who manages to adeptly balance family life and the job, and a computer wizard” (Google description). This is the show’s description and I used it only because I felt it was the most accurate depiction of the show. I also wanted my journal to use the words that the producers chose to write for the show’s description.
One of my favorite quotes from the show is, “A sad soul can kill quicker, far quicker, than a germ.”. This was said by John Steinback and quoted at the beginning of episode 16 in season 3. Usually at the beginning and end of each episode a quote is said with some relevance to the episode that is about to play out, and at the end as a resolution to all the madness and chaos that was just witnessed. This quote was one of the many that really stuck to me only because of its relevance in our pandemic today and how it was used to convey the larger message of the episode. I know this show is dramatized extensively and is not a true representation of what working in the Behavioral Analysis Unit in the FBI, but a lot of the episodes do use factual information to identify certain types of killers, arsonists, etc.. After doing research on the show and real FBI jobs, they are night and day, but they still have the same outcomes of understanding these criminals and stopping them to save more lives than lost.
Although the main focus is not about the FBI, my personal interest does heavily follow the FBI and the fascination with the job itself still excites me. The studying of serial killers has led me to think a lot on why and what happened that made them snap and become that way. A mixture of past and environmental trauma/repressed memories is a huge explanation.
In the article, “The social study of serial killers’ ‘ written by Kevin Haggerty and Ariana Ellerbrok we learn a better understanding and examination of the cultural and historical context of serial killings. The First paragraphs contain background on why biography, biology, and phycology play a huge role in these killers and research done on them. Serial killings are the rarest forms of homicide and only occur when an individual has killed three or more people with a period in between known as a “cooling off” period. They both discuss more contributing factors to what can overall affect or have affected a serial killer in their past and present life. They discuss bigger things such as mass media and celebrity culture, marginalization, and modern phenomena.
“The study of serial killers has been dominated by an individualized focus on studying the biography of offenders and the causes of their behavior.” (Hagerty, Ellerbrok 1). This quote reminds me of just how I discovered what I wanted to really focus on in psychology. I also find this quote a great introduction to what behavioral analysis is and how it has played a huge role in the development of research on serial killings. With this quote we can see how studying an individual’s biography and behavior can give a lot more insight on them as a person and them as a killer. With studying where they grew up and reside in their day to day lives, we can see certain stressors or “triggers” that make them react with killing or abducting, whatever there serial is (serial killing, rape, etc.). With studying their childhood, childhood behavior, and current behavior we get a better insight on the mind of the killer and who they seem to be as a person.
Personal narrative
The Field research i am conducting is a google form post that i created asking various questions about the public’s thoughts on if killers are born or made. The questions are relevant and thought out and pertain to environmental or genetic reasonings for criminals and crime.
Personally my favorite question and the responses I found most interesting were “why do you think criminals turn to a life of crime?” and the answers were “economic issues, psychological issues, anger issues’’ and “They’re either used to it due to past experiences or just feel like that’s the only way to go.” I love the difference in both answers but the truth why that question is my personal favorite is it’s sort of a trick question. There is no correct or one answer. Millions of personalized reasons are why people turn to crime and murder. I enjoyed the responses a lot more than
Although this section was not on the rubric, I wanted to add it into my journal and share my new findings, and new research based on the last weeks of these journal entries. I have learned more in depth of the triggers that create the compulsion for people to kill and act out heinous fantasies that are unspeakable. Throughout the weeks my research has led me to many places I have been to before but I learned more this time around. I found many different connections between articles and topics that all have to do with the reasons why and how. I found this journal to be very educational and also motivational for me to continue to research and study new findings and old findings on killers and crime all alike. These sources have been vetted and I trust that the information I have written about and read are true and make me want to one day write my own findings and pursue my future in the FBI as a Behavioral analysis, forensic psychologist, and/or a criminal psychologist.
What I learned from this research journal and also finding my passion gave me a lot of questions I needed to answer. I had to really be honest with myself and open up in ways I never thought to. It’s never too late to be who you want or change for the better, but one thing to never lose sight of is your true self. In life it is easy to get lost and taken for a ride that leaves you unsure and unaware of who you are and what you are doing. Always remember that the path you go down is your choice and your choice alone. It’s never too late to help yourself if you need. Go outside and take a deep breath. Enjoy the sounds and sights, and think about yourself. Evaluate who you are and if you aren’t happy, start with one little baby step on the path of working towards who you want to be.
